My Mate Barry

My Mate Barry

We first became friends in the fire service, not so much on the job but more through part-time work that Barry arranged - doing contract maintenance work in Canberra and Sydney. I was 28 at the time, so that makes the friendship more than 40 years.

As I progressed through the ranks, our lives diverged a bit but in later years Barry looked me up in the Netherlands and it was as though there had never been a break at all.

I’m reminded of the words of a song by Harry Chapin (who was a favorite of Barry)

From Let Time Go Lightly by Harry Chapin

Old friends, they mean much more to me than the new friends,

Cause they can see where you are,

and they know where you've been.


Now this was important to me because Barry knew of some of the heartbreak I had been through when having to leave the fire service - he knew where I’d been with that pain - and he came over to our place often enough that he could see what I was now doing.

In 2007, I went with Barry to the World Cycling Championships in Stuttgart. An unforgettable experience for me but quite a “normal” thing for Barry with his love and passion for cycling.
We also went to Mendrisio the following year.

I remember him riding in an official event during one of our working trips in Sydney. Another friend, Frank Ward, said that he remembers Barry riding his bike into the backyard of the old No. 1 Fire Station - “this is how we want to remember him”.

We also did a little sightseeing in Friesland

The Douwe Egberts Coffee Cup in Joure

The Pumpkin Festival in Jellum

The Heineken Beer Can in Drachten

Trips to Groningen, Dokkum and Leeuwarden

We even had a beer with a now-deceased friend of mine in an Irish Pub in Leeuwarden - a beer with the name of “Old Speckled Hen” - it was that bad that Barry and I joked about it for years afterwards..

Barry had a network of cycling friends all over the world. We called in on Bruno and Gaby in Cologne just after they had a baby. (Bruno and Gaby and daughter came to our place a few years ago).

An old cycling mate of Barry’s lives not too far from us; he too dropped in one day to say hello.

So, Barry had done a lot of travelling over the years, but in later years it was no longer possible.

He’d been a few times to my daughter’s house in Mitcham and to my son’s house in Croydon - to meet up with one of our apartment residents Anneke who was doing a special holiday to Australia.

We’d catch up with Barry every time we went to Australia - watching the Grand Prix from his balcony or in later years having a meal at the Greensborough RSL. It’s all a bit blurry but again it was always as if we could just pick up from where we left off, no matter the time in between.

Just a couple of years ago, Janny and I were in France with Frank and Pam - I had my Google Maps Location on and Barry was “travelling” around with us. Ever the sharp wit - I would get a Whatsapp message in the morning saying “where are we off to today”. It was quite fun and not at all intrusive.

Probably since the Stuttgart trip, Barry and I were in almost daily contact via Skype and Whatsapp - It was just “something we did” with no second thoughts. We always found something to talk about - footy, films or shows on TV, family, pets (Rupert his dog and Ozzie and Zoey at our place). The timing was just about right every day as I came in for lunch and Barry was settling in for the evening. He would often see me munching on a sandwich and drinking coffee.

We would swap photos and emails with interesting stories each knowing what the other might appreciate. Every weekend Barry would send The Age Quiz including the Get It puzzle.

After Barry broke his leg recently, I was out walking and I started a video call with the intention of showing him the heath to try to brighten his day - he was rather drowsy and told me that they had decided to amputate his leg below the knee. I said “oh, shit” - he was still witty in his reply - “yeah, that’s what I said” - this was the last time I spoke with him.

The last time we saw Barry was last year out at Greensborough. We had lunch at a little restaurant not far from his house…

I know I am going to miss our daily contact. I realise now, just how important it was to me and I suspect that it was also something very special for him.